Worldly Shame & Godly Shame

Self-Preservation is an aspect of unhealthy shame that defines itself. The extent of preserving "you" means you will go to great lengths to justify the most heinous sin or act, by saying, "I know what I did was wrong but it was your projection upon me as a person that made me do it." Its understandable, in theory; the human instinct of needing to blame others for your own personal failure, crimes, infidelities etc.. It's an inherent default setting.

To appease the conscience of Unhealthy Shame, the human mind will subconsciously seek out co-conspirators which enable the self-preservationist to transfer blame. This is a key aspect of the fight or flight syndrome. Enablers assist in sedating the shame, numbing guilt, and transferring responsibility. Everything becomes a target of the"unjust" argument. The home environment, the workplace, the classroom; practically anything one is tied to, becomes the target of - "everything is their fault." In this state of mind, one is half witted enough to know that this is propaganda, all the while being dumb witted enough to buy ones own lie.

     This aspect of unhealthy shame, or worldly sorry is very toxic. Anything convenient can be a target of transference; "It's my job, my stress, this house, the home life."
This is a spiritual sickness. Forgiveness of transgression and cleansing from God cannot occur as long as one plays the blame game. This stoic position can go on for years, making one a very unpleasant and bitter person. At the very moment we confess our transgressions, He is faithful and just to forgive is of all sin. Unhealthy shame cannot continue where Gods grace abounds
     
       Their is another kind of unhealthy shame called The Insulated-Self. This is a prideful infused lifestyle; without a moral compass. The insulated self hides behind position, achievements, and authority causing one to feel insulated from any wrong.
  
..."you have been set unto liberty....only use not your liberty as an occasion of the flesh."


              Its encouraging to all when talented, gifted, and skilled people reveal their weaknesses and frailties; resisting the temptation to say to oneself, "go on, have a run at the whole yard, after all , everyone knows your value; no ones is watching."     
This is The Insulated-Self. It is the perception that one has earned the right...to do wrong.
It's frightening when leaders and people in authority mistakenly perceive their liberty as an insulation from what is right and wrong

             Liberty is not license

       In this broken world with many falling victim to it; avoiding or in ignorance to God's love and forgiveness, so many people find themselves facing...
The Diabolical Self. This is a spiral effect. After any such wrongdoing or lapses of judgment, or colossal failure, one begins to accept brokenness and failure as a right of passage. A fact of life. This is what I Am; It becomes a love for oneself. This too is the double whammy of our adversary. Don't be deceived in thinking that this is healthy shame.

"I'm just going to...Love Me...through this."

         This position is merely the other side of the coin of worldly sorrow or unhealthy shame. You begin to defend your actions as being human, sexual, needing to be appreciated, lacking attention, a need for acceptance; I deserve to be loved and be ME !!!     This all comes from the same lair of the enemy. The wormwood knows that now that he has made a fool of you, and he, as your adversary, can't afford to be blamed. In turn he suggests to you that others caused this, and perhaps even God Himself drove you to it? This is the slippery slope to a much darker hidden shame, led by worldly standards (it's a broad road and many are going DOWN it). This acceleration of action is constantly pushing (derived by your adversary who seeks to kill) a mentality that speaks to your soul, saying, "You know that in reality it's your failure which defines you. Everybody sees you as a liability. You have made a fool of yourself. You are worthless. You're a misfit.  You are a handicap"
       
      This diabolical-self opens the Pandora box of destruction. Basically, the thief of Joy says, "I didn't bring you to the clefts for the view. I'm here to throw you off"
You feel your mask, cover up, or denial, has called in the loan and says, "now its payday"
Behold your sins have found you out.  

      In turn, our enemy continues to taunt and hound. This has been his end game from the beginning. When spotlighted by ones own web of denial and deceit, the reaction is, "If I'm to wear the scarlet letter, then let's run full steam ahead and make a big bang." This is the nature and end game of the diabolical-self. You will literally do anything to inebriate your "Shame & Pain". This place of unhealthy shame or worldly sorrow can lead to irreversible personal harm, abuse, addictions,....and even death.    

I have been at this precipice; as a healer and as a transgressor.

       Godly sorrow, healthy shame, is a completely different monolithic thing. It's a one dimensional single sided principle. The aspects of worldly sorrow or unhealthy shame, versus Godly sorrow or healthy shame has everything to do with spiritual principalities and powers that are unseen. God is an unseen spirit at work in the world even so are the unseen powers of wickedness.

When any broken soul has a dawning, by way of many prayers of Godly friends and family; the dawning appears at the very second you realize that all the beauty, talent, blessings, goodness, gifts, opportunities; every rich and perfect blessing, in spite of your frailties, is bestowed upon you by a great and wonderful God. The Father blesses us far more than we deserve (It would be nice if children recognized their parental protection and blessings when young). He has become the Holy Father He promised to be.  He has never once abandoned you. His love has (as in the poem, Footprints In The Sand) carried you, guarded you, supplied goodness and favor unto you even when you were at the lowest points of your pilgrimage.
     
     Once you've reached that rung on life's ladder, going down or up, by Gods mercy, one can see His grace that has already forgiven.

It's a breakthrough, but this is not easy.

To be set free and at liberty.... requires repentance and a healthy dose of humility; to bone up to your unworthiness and filthy rags (few enjoy airing out their dirty laundry).

Look at the parable of the wayward son in the Gospel of Luke...his dawning occurred while feeding the hogs. "I will return to my father and ask to be a servant".  Can you imagine the bold step that it took for him to return home? Think about it; all the pride and ignorance he had to acknowledge. He left smelling of fine perfume, aloes, and myrrh. He returned smelling like a pig sty. The step forward can be very difficult for some; like the apostle Paul and CS Lewis who went in kicking and screaming. That's because they had succeeded without God and the Cross. Or so they thought. They struggled letting go. Perhaps they thought...

"This is implausible""He ask too much."
"I can't admit sin."

        Each of His chosen respond differently to His call; for many reasons, but usually pride is among them. This is the work that the Holy Spirit must do. To actually have the scales fall from your eyes and see oneself and sin...only then can our chains be broken. Of course It's frightening to walk in a court of law and say, I'm guilty. Yet, In response you hear His voice tenderly saying..."you are pardoned and released from guilt".

       I will never forget when Dr. Dewey Dunn called me out in a prayer meeting. (A 6am prayer mtg. by the way. I had to get up at 4 am to meet him at the hospital).  On arrival I found a room filled with Godly physicians. In the pray group Dr. Dunn asked me why I was so quiet. He startled me at first. I had been meditating on God's word and at that moment was broken by Isaiah 6:1. As I began my response, tears began to flow. I said humbly...

"I am in awe this morning that the God of heaven has invited me, a shameful sinner, to see His royal train and sit at His table as a child of God".  

All the men in the room fell to their knees.

          
       To have the chains broken and to be set free is indeed...Liberty. This gift is granted to all who call upon Him saying...."God, I need your help." Finally to breath the air of Gods love and forgiveness. The ability to confess without any shame or slander. At first, each grace filled child feels lighter than air! It emerges as an eagerness to serve. Once forgiven one begins looking for others; those less gifted, talented, or those still in the mire where you once were.

Be advised...abusing this newfound liberty, which was granted to you by His mercy, can become a vice if not revered....becoming a disgrace to grace;
e.g. were not ten cleansed...where are the other nine?

The virtue of freedom and the cleansing of guilt is all about serving others.

Tucked within the greatest commandment is...loving as you have been loved.

         When released from the fetters of sin one discovers the principle that only Gods children enjoy...

His opinion, His judgment, His value, His love for YOU is all that matters.
After all, it's all formed, made, shaped, and bestowed to you by Him....through the sinless crucified Christ.

The judge of YOU in this broken world should never rests in the hands or on the tongue of other broken people. The God that made you is the one that says, "I saw you in your brokenness and I chose YOU." You're to be conformed to the likeness of His son. God, in His mysterious wisdom knows how to weave your experience and make everything beautiful in His time. This heaping dose of human depravity, He in turn makes something beautiful. Godly sorrow or repentance gives life by revealing your deepest and daily need of HIM.

          Who is it that condemns you? No one. Is it Jesus? No....He died on the cross for your condemnation!!! Then who shall lay charge to "God's elect". For I am convinced that NOTHING shall separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Neither shame, famine, nakedness, peril, nor sword. Romans 8

        All these verbal descriptions above have to do with a healthy perception of YOU and God. Seeing that only His judgment matters, it renders all others judgments meaningless. When life smacks you in the face, it's all about YOU and GOD. That's all that matters. It's similar to when my middle daughter Hailey struggled with her subjects in 3rd grade. Her teacher Ms Phillips said to us... "that's ok. That's why she needs a teacher."
The realization that Godly sorrow is about your relief in hearing God say to you,  "that's ok, that's why You need a Savior."
         
       Imagine being set free like a wild beast released from the cage. Liberty by grace allows you to live life in its fullness; helping others, those stuck in failure, helping them reach your advantage point of GRACE. Make it no concern of yours the broken worlds litmus test of whether or not you're worthy of liberty. It's not up to them. If you're free in Him to fail and get back up and try living again then you are free indeed. Jacobs ladder had only a down or up.

                     I chose.....Up and Up

         Having said all this, to begin the process of paternal affirmation or seeking affirmation from others is to be enslaved again. In another words, the cycle of bad healing (or non-healing) is whenever you succumb to letting others evaluation of YOU determine your worth.

NEVER let them or your inner self tell you how to perceive yourself.
This takes discipline.
It means ownership.
It requires maturity.  
Always take ownership of your mistakes and shortcomings.
Never blame your closest beloved or your friends for why you did wrong. This holds not up in mans court. Why should we even expect it to hold up in God's ?

      Further up the ladder you can rest; hidden in the shadow of His wings; convinced that "God alone is my judge, my portion, my deliverer". His sustaining grace toward you; learned through miserable failure; is proven sufficient.

This grace has conformed me; Teflon resistant to any attack. Going down I knew my failure; when I looked up at Him I saw my penance; experienced His forgiveness; all cast in the sea of forgetfulness.

      A man can say what he says; a woman may say what she says, others might throw stones and wag their heads, but the only voice that matters is, "...what does my Heavenly Father say?"

This is Godly sorrow that every child of God MUST learn; overcoming our self and our sin.

2 Corinthians 7:10  Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

NO REGRET !!
Ultimately it all boils down to You and God.
You must forgive yourself...and forgive others as you are forgiven.

This is what I've come to know and grasp. It has made me.

Personally,  I had no other choice but to keep climbing up and up Jacob's ladder.
Going down...was miserable!

What our adversary meant for harm, shame, labeled...God has used for good.