Blessed are they that Mourn

As I entered the room there was a deafening silence. For a hospital this was out of the norm. At any other time there are nurses shuffling in and out, IV's chirping, TV's blaring, custodians rattling carts. Here, there was an eerie quietness that made me stop and wonder what was missing.


He was lying in his bed. His sheets were
pulled over his head. Only his fingers
were visible, holding the corners .
The linens outlined his
body like a cadaver.

I called his name.


"Mr. A"

He lowered the sheet to his chin.
 
"Why do you have the sheet over your head?" I asked.

"The light is bothering my eyes"

The room was dark. Only a faint light
strained through drawn blinds.
His eyes were moist.

"Im Chaplain Thomas here at the VA. I came by to see how you are
doing".

"Not too good. I have a tumor on my brain. They're going to operate
tomorrow and try to relieve this pressure in my head".

Tears began to flow down his cheeks.
 I reached out and placed my
hand on his.

"Yes, I read this in your chart. Do you have any family here."

"Not right now. My wife and my son are on there way here from
out of town. She had to stay home to bury her mother. She lived
with us. She had to deal with that before she could come here."

Mr. A's face was soaked with tears. However his weeping was not
without control. It was more of... sadness. Steady streams of grief.

He continued,

"I don't know how they're going to deal with this.
First her mother now this. I just don't know what she's going to do."

Immediately I felt a tremendous sense of inadequacy.
In my world of "me"... if all is well with me
then all is well with the world, fell
flat. My tongue knotted between my lips.
Eventually I spoke.

"Mr. A, do you believe God is in control?"

"Yes I do", he said.

"Then his grace will be sufficient. "

"I believe so" he said.

"When is your wife and son coming?" I asked.

"Tonight"

Mr. A finally released my hand to wipe his tear stained face.

"They're going to operate tomorrow and try and get rid of this
headache. But...but it's just not good Chap. It's just not good."

I reached for his hand again and prayed
I felt his trembling body beneath my grasp.
He gripped my hands tightly as we both said...
" in Jesus name".

" I look forward to seeing you again. There will be a chaplain

here to meet your wife tomorrow.

I'll see to it.

I'm praying for you"

"Thank you"

As I backed out of his soundless room,
the hustle of 2North engulfed me.
I drifted blindly back down toward
the office with only my feet guiding
me on the path. In my heart I thought of

My wife...
My children...
Church tonight...
Inadequacy... and
Grattitude.

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