The Man in 214

Cursing... bellowing out expletives... objecting to the very notion that he needed a chaplain.

"I don't want to talk to you, I just want to lay here and rest."  I'm fine, just leave me alone".

Cursing as I left the room.

I was irritated by his rejection but not too much. It wasn't the first time I've been asked to leave. Thoughts of him didn't enter my mind again until early the next day

The following morning I met with Dr. D and we were discussing several patients.

"I'd like for you to go by and visit Mr. C. in room 214.  He has a psa of over 200. Normal is 4. A psa that elevated indicates a rapid growing cancer of the pancreas.  The medical team met with him this morning. He doesn't have very long."

The moment he mentioned the name I new it was the patient that practically threw me out the day before. I left the doctors office and headed toward the room. When I arrived, I found myself hesitating before going in. Next thing I new I was walking in circles in the hallway plotting my course of action. When my heart and mind finally linked together I headed toward room 214.

What do you say to someone who is dying with only days left.  An alcoholic wracked with cancer and an anger toward life, God, and anyone that represents either.

I entered his room and gently spoke rousing him from sleep. The moment he saw me, he started again with his irritation.
I let him ramble for a few seconds before I spoke.

The deep wound of reality was wearing on him. The voice of his anxiety was noted and his indignation was evident,  particularly in his eyes. His wide eyes seemed to look past me like a blind man. Speaking to a presence but not seeing or really caring who it was.

I got into position where he could see my face and measure the sincerity, expressions, and urgency of my tone.

"Mr. C, I'm not here to talk to you about church or religion. Now I want you to settle down and listen to me. I just came from Dr. D and he told me the test results that you received earlier. The Dr. asked me to come see you. I'm here to tell you that he loves you, I love you, but more importantly God loves you.  You and I may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but there's no time for that now. There's nothing that would keep me from telling you that God cares for you very much. That's really all I wanted to say. When I leave here you need to ask God to open your eyes and your heart to receive his love and grace. Do you understand me Mr. C?"

"Yea", he said

I was a little stunned at his calm reply and how quickly he settled down when I stood firm with him.
Saying those words to Mr. C  was my only objective. He could curse and spit at me if he wanted too but I was determined to tell him about Gods love. I looked at him for several seconds but it felt like an eternity. He lay there staring forward, motionless, and clutching his sheets.

I said to Mr. C. "I'm going to pray for you now."

"I want to pray too"

I thought my ears were playing tricks on me

"You want to pray with me...now?"
...He began to cry.

"Yes."

Unbelievable. In an instant, Mr. C had gone from anger and denial to humility and complete obedience.  He was a broken man. In a matter of seconds he seemed to approach the gate of eternity and realized there was no bargaining, no anger, no denial, no rewind, nothing. What stood before him was a dark pathway he most surely would embark.

Grabbing his right had he reached out and grabbed my left. Our hands lay crossed over his chest. He pulled me in close like a beloved friend.
I led him in a prayer of acceptance.  He prayed out loud with force and emotion. When we finished he immediately asked if I would come back and speak to his children. Of course I agreed

We spoke for a few moments. He slowly drifted back into the distant stare that seemed to take him to another place and time.
Leaving his room I was dumbfounded at what just transpired. Here was a man that hours before was enraged at my presence and now is like soft clay.

The ways of God are mysterious to me. I can't speak about the sincerity of Mr. C's prayer, only to the reality of it. God in heaven judges the thoughts and intents of the heart. He loves Mr. C. This much is for certain.

Mortality is an intense and powerful portal that we must all enter. Standing with another as they approach that threshold is an awesome event. Offering words of truth, comfort, and solace is divine.

Parting words at the eternal precipice of no return are the most intimate words uttered. Standing close to hear them...is hallowed.


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